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Christian Women and Porn

A Guide to Breaking Free

3 Healthy Relationship Tips to Take Away from Fifty Shades of Grey

June 2, 2015 By shelley Leave a Comment

Guest post by LifeStar

There is a stereotype around pornography that it only affects men, but, the truth is, women can also become addicted and struggle with pornography and sexual addiction. In a recent study conducted by Christian Women, 40% of women surveyed considered themselves as an addict and many women are opening up about their own struggles.

How many times do you see a half-naked woman (or man) on a magazine cover, TV, and social media each day? A lot. It has become so common in society that many of us probably don’t even notice these images anymore or see anything wrong with the objectification and unrealistic expectations we place on each other and ourselves.

With the recent release of the film, Fifty Shades of Grey, we’ve seen mainstream media romanticizing the addictive and manipulative behaviors pornography and sexual addiction have on the way we view each other and build our relationships. What is it about Christian Grey’s controlling nature that appeals to women? There is nothing romantic about a man (or woman) who is on a destructive path that will not only hurt them, but the people in their lives. However, there are some positive aspects to take away from the way media portrays films like Fifty Shades to grow and create healthy relationships.

Promote stronger relationships with these 3 healthy relationship tips to take from the film:

healthy relationships 50 shades of grey1.) Set your boundaries. Boundaries are an important skill to have for building healthy relationships and a better understanding of yourself. Take time to decide what your limits are and write down what makes you uncomfortable or stressed. While you are creating your list of boundaries, include what compromises you are willing to make in the relationship. Remember to consider all the areas of your life and your needs in the following categories: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

2.) Practice good communication. We all get busy with our lives and sometimes finding time to talk openly with your spouse is pushed down on the list. Setting time aside for you and your spouse (or boyfriend/girlfriend) to really talk, at least once a week, is important to allow you to have more meaningful discussions. When having a deeper conversation with your partner, remember to also listen to them. How are you going to solve any problems if you aren’t listening to what the other person is saying?

3.) Self-awareness. In order to set purposeful boundaries, having a strong sense of who you are and honoring your feelings is vital to the process. Create healthy boundaries by asking yourself the following questions: “What is happening in this situation that is making me feel resentful or stressed? Is it something I am doing or the other person?” Once you’ve gotten clear on those, consider: “What are you going to do about the situation? What parts of the situation do you have control over?”

Relationships come with their own ups and downs. By having a strong sense of what your boundaries are and keeping the communication lines open with your spouse, you can build a deeper relationship with the person you love.

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About the Author: LifeStar has over 20 years’ experience of helping individuals, spouses, and families heal from the devastating effects of pornography addiction and other sexually compulsive behaviors. Developed by Dan Gray and Todd Olson, LifeStar is run by highly trained and licensed therapists who specialize in sexual addiction recovery.

Filed Under: Guest Blog Posts

New Book: When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography

September 9, 2012 By shelley Leave a Comment

 

GIVEAWAY:  Enter to win a paperback copy of Vicki’s new book below!

Guest post by Vicki Tiede

Thank you for inviting me to be a guest on your blog today. I appreciate the opportunity to share my story with you. People’s stories are important and I think particularly if you’re a woman whose husband is addicted to pornography, hearing the stories of other women helps you know that you are not alone. Time and time again when I speak for a conference or a retreat women will approach me afterwards and say, “What you said up there … that’s exactly how I feel. How did you know?”

I know, because I’ve walked in her shoes. You never know what it’s like to be married to a man addicted to pornography until you are that woman. Only then can you truly understand how being rejected in favor of countless digitally enhanced images of other women makes you feel; ugly, incompetent, insufficient, undesirable, unworthy … the list goes on. The good news is, I also know firsthand that Jesus can and will take the pieces of that woman’s broken heart and make something beautiful. I wrote When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography for other women who need someone to take them to the cross.

Here’s my story …

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLBxi7UKSCo 400 225[/youtube]

I probably don’t need to tell you that mainstream society largely considers lust, fantasy, self-gratification, and pornography acceptable. In fact, they promote it. For more reasons than I explain here, this scares the daylights out of me!

Let me tell you one reason we need to take pornography addiction very seriously. Pornography is a counterfeit sexual experience that damages healthy relationships as God intended. That’s because pornography decreases a man’s interest in real intimacy with his wife and increases his hunger for more porn. Do you see why it’s naïve to believe that his porn addiction isn’t hurting anyone but him? If you or someone you know is married to a man addicted to pornography, then you’re painfully aware of the tsunami of emotions that overtake you. God’s Word has something to say about this to the brokenhearted woman.

I am not a counselor, but I know the Wonderful Counselor and I would consider it a privilege to walk this journey of healing your heart with you as you work through the pages of When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography.

Did something about my story resonate with you? If you are able, I would love to know how it did so. (You are welcome to share your comments anonymously.) And may I take a moment to tell you, if your husband is addicted to pornography, how very sorry I am that you have had to walk this journey. Please know that there is hope and healing in Jesus Christ.

More about Vicki:

I am an author and speaker who has a passion for opening the Scriptures and pointing women to their true source of grace and faithfulness. For the past ten years, I have been honored to speak for numerous women at conferences, retreats, and women’s events. I am the author of three books including When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography (2012), Plug Me In and Let Me Charge Overnight (2009), and Parenting on Your Knees: Prayers and Practical Guidance for the Preschool Years (coming January 2013). I live in Rochester, Minnesota, with my husband Mike, daughter, and two sons. Visit her on the web.

For Your Readers: Sample Chapters from When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart

Links to buy the book:


Vicki Tiede
 (Paperback Guaranteed in Stock.)

NGP 

Amazon

Barnes and Noble (BN’s processing times are lagging, but it will eventually be available here too)

Nook

CBD  

Win a Print Copy of Vicki’s Book

IMPORTANT: You must Login to enter to win. – Login by clicking the blue “Login with Facebook” image or the “use your email” button below. Click here for video instructions

 

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Filed Under: Guest Blog Posts, Marriage Resources Tagged With: Vicki tiede, when your husband is addicted to pornography




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